Self-doubt: a Primer

Self-doubt is both the best and the worst kind of doubt. It can keep us honest, or it can paralyze us with indecision. It can lead us to better understand ourselves as individuals, or it can drown us in neuroses, anxieties, and the debilitating fear that we are imposters.

It can pull us back from a precipice, or push us over another.

So how does one know when to heed it? When to use it?

Well, here are a few of Hettie's Helpful Hints on Humility

1. If there's nothing riding on it, don't waste your time fretting. Is someone going to get hurt, directly or indirectly (yourself included)? Are there unforeseen repercussions in the wings? If not, move on to the next thing that's on your mind. When the stakes are low, doubting yourself leads to an unhealthy habit of uncertainty.

2. Consider who will be affected if you make a mistake. If the answer is, "Just me," follow up by asking, "What's the worst that can happen if I'm wrong?" Then, if you're willing to accept that outcome, give yourself license to indulge your preference of the moment, and be ready to learn a lesson if it turns out badly.

3. Factor in whether time is of the essence. If you don't need to decide, right this moment, whether you're right or wrong about something, put the decision on your to-do list and let it steep on a back burner. In other words, re-examine whether re-examination is the best investment of your energy at this moment.

4. Understand what you can and can't know. If you make a decision or hold a belief, and a bad outcome follows, don't beat yourself up for that outcome unless some other path, visible at the time, would clearly have produced better results -- and in that case, only beat yourself up for long enough to make sure you won't make the same mistake in the future.

5. Question your knowledge first ... then your motives, mind-set, and methods. Doubt your principles last of all -- but remember that they're on the list.

6. Remember that you may not be as important to a situation as you think you are ... but also that a situation may not be as important to you as you think it is. 

7. Lastly: When it comes to self-doubt, your worth and value as a person should always be off the table. If you find yourself questioning either of those, you'll know the wrong sort of self-doubt has crept in. Shoo it away quickly.